Feeling Loved

Yesterday, February 11, was Mama's birthday.  We had made a lot of birthday memories. I always cooked whatever she wanted, diabetes or not.  She would tell us she didn't need any gifts but, of course, we never listened to her.  She was so much fun to buy for because she loved quirky things, especially if they spun, blew in the wind, or lit up.  After we gave her a surprise party a few years ago, she always warned me that "I'd better not have anything up my sleeve" every year when it got close to her birthday.  Even when she was having trouble remembering simple things, we'd pass the restaurant where we had surprised her and she'd remember that party.  So yesterday was a hard day for me, one I'd been dreading all week.  Lately I've been focusing on some not so good memories, Mom begging me not to leave her at the nursing home, how frail and sick she was, all the things I could have done differently and maybe prevented how quickly she left us.  Yesterday was like a monster looming to swallow me.  My six wonderful girls surprised me with a lunch at Chantilly's Tea Room. There were some tears but lots of laughter.  They took me from being overwhelmed by grief and regret to being overwhelmed by love.  They sacrificed to help me through a hard day.  I don't deserve them but I thank God for blessing me with them.  Jennifer, Jaclyn, Rachel, Emily, Laura, Hannah.  Thank you. I love you.