Reality Check

Hannah and I sat on the porch this evening and talked about what we had thought it would be like when Mom came home.  Looking back we weren't prepared at all for this experience.  We knew that Mom was miserable at the nursing home but we really thought she'd be happy when she got settled back at home.  All the professionals who worked with her told us that her confusion would most likely improve when she got home, but she probably would never improve to the point where she'd been before.  I can't see a lot of improvement yet, but it hasn't even been a week.

Communication is a big problem.  Usually we can figure out what she's trying to say but not all the time.  She can speak just fine, but the words put together don't make sense.  For example, today she told me to get my pickles.  Ok, that sounded ridiculous, but I realized that she was upset because I wasn't wearing shoes.  Pickles were shoes.  And I'm sure that to her, the things we say sound just as silly.  It must be so frustrating to her.  I don't know if that's a result of the stroke or the dementia, or both.

She's not sleeping at night so that takes a toll on us and on her.  She doesn't wander so I'm not terrible concerned about that, but I'm worried that I won't hear her get up and she'll fall or get hurt somehow.  Hannah is a pretty light sleeper and she's very alert to her Grandma so she gets up a lot with her. 

I hope this doesn't sound like a complaint because it's not meant to be that.  It's just a reality check.  I love my mom and, even though I'd never choose this path for her, I'm going to walk it with her.